Friend or Foe?

Recently, my iPad needed to be charging overnight and since I didn’t want to arise to go plug it in across the room after I finished reading a few chapters on my Kindle app, I just unplugged my bedside lamp and plugged in the charger there. So now all I needed to do was place my iPad on the bedside table and rollover when done. After a few minutes, my eyelids were getting pretty heavy so I closed the iPad, placed it on the bedside table and reached up to turn off the unplugged and dark lamp!!! Why did I do this? Habit!  For decades now I have read before going to bed and the steps taken after eyelids have started drooping is to place book on table and turn off light. So, despite the darkened room, I still reached up to “turn off” the light.

This riddle, that I originally read in Hyrum Smith’s book, 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management, most aptly describes the power of a habit.

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command.

Half the things I do you might as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I am Habit.

Habits can be our friends and they can so be our foes. What habits do you need to stop doing or start doing? The answers to this question can change ours lives!

I was going to do a Part 2 of how to form new habits but in the process of searching for a "habit" image (which I never found) I ran across this blog that is better than what I would have written. Check it out if you are ready to form new habits!

The Wonder of Technology!

The wonder of technology! Or is it? I see the post that she exercised for the fourth time this week and I feel guilty.

I see the photo about her girl’s trip to the beach and I feel alone.

I see the text “read receipt” is an hour old and feel angry because they haven’t answered my question.

I see that he has checked out my profile (yes, I have been known to do online dating) but never replied and I feel rejected.

I see the new sofa pinned on her board and I feel covetous.

Maybe it is just me that reacts that why and if so, please send in the biblical counselors!!  But if not help me work out the balance in all of this.  You see, as I considered this post, I was reminded of a comment from David Platt’s book, Radical.  As he was sharing his concern about all the money the Church spends on buildings he was sitting in a multi-million dollar facility.  He saw the problem but he don’t know all the solutions.

I have accounts on multiple (5 just off the top of my head) social media sites.  I have an iPhone, iPad mini and MacBook Air.  I have wifi at all of my homes and offices and if I am on the road, the iPhone has a hotspot and the mini has cellular connectivity.  Talk about being plugged in!!  Now, my excuse can be my job as a self-employed consultant who travels a lot.  And I can also use the excuse that because I am single I need multiple lines of connectivity.

But there has to be boundaries in there somewhere, right?  My problem is that I am an all or nothing girl!  My boundaries usually include deactivating my accounts and getting a stupid phone.  Is this really the solution?

Would welcome your thoughts on this situation and you now that you can always find me plugged in somewhere!

Unworthy

"All my life I have been called unworthy..." Oh my goodness, can I just be real with y'all?  This so describes me!  Not that this describes who I was or used to be a long time ago but this often describes me on any given day!  Well, actually until I heard Big Daddy Weaver's song, Redeemed, two weeks ago it was my daily mantra.

With that kind of daily mantra, I would do some crazy things to earn my worth.  Before Christ it included lots of immoral stuff, trying to feel worthy.  Then after Christ, despite knowledge of the Word and great counseling, I would often believe I was unworthy and so then I had to earn my worthiness.  Work harder, faster.  Produce more.  Please everyone around you.  Manipulate here.  Exaggerate there.  Anything to silence that voice...

Then a friend who knows me so well, sent me Redeemed (now that is a true friend!)  And when I heard this line in the middle of the song, the lightbulb - no, it was a flood light - went off.  Here is the entire line:

"All my life I have been called unworthy...named by the voice of my shame and regret."

It wasn't a parent or a teacher or a coach or a friend who had called me unworthy but it came from the voice of my shame and regret!!  I could silence the voice not by performing better or pleasing more people.  I could silence the voice by walking in the fact that I am redeemed and that my shame was paid for on the cross and my regrets can be released to Him who cares for me.

Is the voice always silent?  No...I am still living in a fallen world and in a body of flesh that is so prone to sin. However, when the voice calls out, "Unworthy! Unworthy!"  I can respond, "Redeemed!!  Redeemed!!" and the voice goes silent.

How about you?  What's your daily mantra?  Do you hear the voice?  Can you cry out, "Redeemed!"?

AutoZone Encounter

There I was…just minding my own business at the AutoZone on Election Day 2012 when I heard the man at the register next to me say to the cashier, “You know if Romney wins he won’t let you have an abortion if you get raped.”  “Oh Lord,” I thought, “I only have a few minutes before my next appointment and I just wanted to get this wiper.  Surely he will not turn to me and tell me that, will he?” “Ma’am, can I ask you a question?  Do you know that if Romney wins…”  I think you get the picture.  Despite what might be racing through your mind if you know me well it was a VERY good experience.  We were both vocal (read loud) but civil.  We were passionate but appropriate.  We were discussing but not arguing.  We didn’t interrupt and we listened to both sides.

Here are just a few snippets of the debate:

Me:  Well, sir, it doesn’t matter to me what Romney does…if I am raped, I would not have an abortion.  Just because a baby’s daddy is a jerk doesn’t mean he or she shouldn’t live.”

AutoZone Customer:  Really.  But it is not a baby.

Me:  If it is not a baby, what is it?

AutoZone Customer:  Well, just not fully formed.

Me:  I am 47 years old and I am not fully formed – emotionally, mentally, physically – I will change.

AutoZone Customer:  Right, but it is still not really a human.

Me:  Really?  Unique DNA at conception.  Heartbeat detectable by 20 days.  At 10 weeks gestation all vital organs and systems have been created.  If it is not a baby, what is it?

AutoZone Customer:  Well, maybe it is a baby.  But I think a woman should have the choice.

Me:  The choice to end the life of her unborn baby?

AutoZone Customer:  But if my daughter was raped and she thinks she couldn’t handle the stress of carrying the baby, I think she should be allowed to have an abortion.

Me:  When the baby is 6 months old, there will be times she thinks she couldn’t handle the stress of being a mom. Is it okay then to kill the baby?

AutoZone Customer:  Of course not!

Me:  Because?

And the debate goes on!   What I loved about the entire time with my friend at AutoZone was that we were having a discussion about abortion.  We were not protesting…yelling..belittling..ridiculing.  He thanked me for the discussion and said, “You showed me some things I hadn’t thought about.  Still think I’d let my daughter have an abortion.”

Oh Lord, may I never be to quick to run from a situation – even an uncomfortable one – but stay and choose to speak in Love.

Josh Hamilton and Cereal

What in the world does Josh Hamilton and cereal have in common?  As many of you know, last week it was reported and later confirmed by Josh that he relapsed and drank alcohol.  (Side Note:  So impressed at how the body of Christ has responded to Josh.  Check out this article and this one as well as this one to see.)  Josh has struggled with addiction for many years and had even lost everything until he cried out to Jesus.  Check out his testimony. So back to the original question….what does Josh and cereal have in common? I have an addiction, too, and it is cereal!  Well, really, it could be just about any carb but when I am at the Jenkins home cereal seems to call my name.  I made Bowdie and Andrea crack up the other night when I texted them while babysitting the boys, “I am going to bed early partly because I am tired but also so that I will quit eating.”  Just like Josh it is a daily struggle for me to not feed my addiction.  Pun intended.

However, unlike Josh I cannot “cold turkey” or simply quit going to grocery stores.  I have to eat to live….the problem is too often I live to eat.  Another difference is that if I give into the addiction I am usually only hurting myself unlike Josh who may hurt others if he chooses to get behind the wheel of a car.

The verse that has really rolled around in my head lately is 2 Corinthians 10:4 – The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. God has not chosen to just deliver me instantaneously from this addiction but I do have at my disposal weapons that can destroy strongholds - anything that has a strong hold on me.

Unfortunately, I do not always use the weapons available which takes me back to the cereal…Tuesday afternoon I was watching the boys because Andrea was helping with the funeral of an amazing man of God.  I wanted (read lusted for) a bowl of cereal but was not hungry (this would be sin for me.)  I had just poured the milk over the frosted shredded wheat and there was a knock on the door.  “Aunt Becky, Blaine needs you!  He is hurt.”  I run out the door and see Blaine crying on the trampoline.  I carried him into the house and laid him on the sofa to get an icepack on the (now we know) broken foot.  As I sat with him, my cereal was growing soggier and soggier.  By the time he was calmed down enough for me to get up, my cereal was yucky!  I am grateful that 1 Corinthians 10:13 is true as well!

So I am throwing no stones at Josh but rather rejoicing that as quickly as he fell off the wagon he is back on again and praying that when I make unhealthy food choices or choose to over eat that I get back on track just as quickly.

What about you?  Do you have any addictions that you struggle with?  By the way, I had cereal yesterday morning for breakfast and only ate one cup!

Discipline - Love/Hate Relationship

Discipline.  A word many of us both love and hate.  I love the discipline of the airline pilot as he goes through his pre-flight procedures….not to fond of it when the TSA agent is doing her job  and throws away a brand new can of hair spray.  Love the discipline of the civil engineers who designed the overpasses on Intestate 4…not excited about the discipline of the Florida Highway Patrolman and his radar gun.  Love watching the results of the discipline of premiere athletes…really hate the discipline of exercise. This weekend I was blessed to watch the discipline of 1,000s of people played out.  I participated in the Walt Disney World Half Marathon as a spectator – see last sentence in paragraph above.  Over 27,000 people ran, walked, jogged and/or slogged (slow jog) their way from Epcot Center, through the Magic Kingdom and back to Epcot – a distance of 13.1 miles.   And there were also quite a few wheelchair racers who blew through that course – several of them multi-amputees.  Still brings tears to my eyes and can cause me some level of shame! Check this out to “feel my pain.”

What is amazing is that 99% of the athletes did it just to do it.  Now they did get a medal – and since this is a Disney event it was a VERY nice medal….suitable for mounting, for sure.  And I would say 90% of these folks spent LOTS of time preparing for this single event.  It took much discipline to go from the couch to the treadmill or to the street and get moving.  Well, the first time it might have been based on some emotional decision but later as the going got rougher – whether that was rainy weather or achy knees or the finances to purchase new shoes – discipline is what kept them going.  Self-discipline.  I am reminded of the verse from I Corinthian 9:27 - I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. (New Living Translation)

Discipline is setting your mind to doing something and then buffeting your body to do what your Spirit, soul or mind want to do.  And many ways, it is not punishment because we are WAY more than just flesh and blood.  We can believe, desire and think about doing something all we want but if our body doesn’t engage it is not happening.

So what is your “something?”  Run a half marathon – or a FULL?  Lose 20 pounds?  Clean out the garage?  Have a daily quiet time?  Get out of debt?  Write a book?

Over the next couple of days, I am going to spend time determining what my “somethings” are for 2012 and then I am going to go about disciplining my body to make it happen.

What about you?  Would love to hear what your somethings will be in 2012.  Let’s embrace what we LOVE about discipline – the results and not focus on the part we HATE – the pain of getting the results!

My Christmas and Blogging

Well, it is the new year and I have made a commitment (I am not calling it a new year’s resolution because those are easy to break) to blog more often.  That is not really too much of a stretch since I have not written anything since September 6!! Part of my reluctance to blog is often because I don’t think I have that much to say.  Who am I?  What do I have to write about that is worth anyone’s valuable time to read?  Nobody probably reads it any way, right?  Ok do you see the downward spiral I can talk myself into without much effort?

As has been my tradition for the past 7 years, I went to Andrea and Bowdie Jenkins home for Christmas.  This tradition started the first Christmas I was in Texas when Bowdie called and said, “I always want my boys to wake up with Aunt Beck on Christmas morning.  Will you come here?”  It still brings tears to my eyes and now he has three boys!  My time there was delightful and Andrea, the consummate gift giver (and a gifts lover herself), blessed me with many wonderful gifts one of which was a book by Renee Swope entitled A Confident Heart.

What does my Christmas and blogging have in common?  A lot, when you consider the subtitle of the book:  How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises.  From the very first page, I was overwhelmed by how this book was speaking to me and how my doubts, insecurities, etc. have kept me from living out the promises God has for me.  Even the forword by Lysa TerKeurst, president of Proverbs 31 ministry, captured what is so true in my heart.  Let me quote a few lines:

I carried around a little heart-shaped cup and held it out to whatever or whomever I perceived might fill it.

I presented the cup to my education:  “Will you fill me?”

I offered it to my husband:  “Will you fill me?”

I held it out to my child:  “Will you fill me?”

I extended it to my material possessions:  “Will you fill me?”

I presented it to each of my jobs:  “Will you fill me?”

…The more I offered my emptiness, hoping something could fill it, the more inadequate I felt.

I have only gotten through a chapter and a half but I sense this will be a well worn book that I will refer to and re-do for many years to come.  If you get the chance, head to Amazon and check out A Confident Heart's “Click to Look Inside” and at least read the forword…if you are at all like me, you will be adding it to your cart in no time.

Let me know if you do….that is if anyone reads this.

:)

The Truth About Lies

Manipulation.  Embellishment.  Deception.  Falsehoods.  Untruths.  Little white ones.  Fabrication.  Slander.  Tale.  Whoppers.  Whatever you call them, they are still lies and if left unchecked it will cause disaster in your life! "How do I know?" you may ask.  I know because my life became a disaster as I continued to lie and believe lie after lie.  But don't just take my word, look at what Proverbs says about lies. Our lies will always find us out.  (19:5)

Lies for a time seem good.  (20:17)

Lives built on lies will crumble.  (21:6)

Lies are the root of all pain.  (25:18)

The Lord hates lying lips. (6:17)

What is so wonderful is that the opposite of lying is freeing and life giving.  Lies destroy but truth will set you free.  Oh it may be painful at first but in the end truth is the best course of action..in the small things of life - "You have a bit of spinach between you two front teeth and each time you say the 'th' sound it flaps just a bit" as well as in the big things of life - "You need to end your engagement because your fiancee is in debt up to his ears and is not anywhere near ready for marriage."

In my life, I was blessed to have people speak truth to me that uncovered the lies I was believing.  Those truths were painful to take at times but because of the love for me of the truth speaker it made it just a bit more palatable.  And in the end, those wonderful truths brought freedom and life.

Why don't you take some time today and examine your life to see if there are any lies that you are believing?  Or why not ask a trusted friend if he or she thinks there are lies you are acting on in your life?  Of you are really gutsy, why not ask God?  It may be painful at first but in the long run it will set you free!

He Sets the Solitary into Families

It was just a casual comment on Facebook...nothing profound, shocking or weighty.  Andrea had simply responded to the fact that I call her sons “my boys.”  She said, “Absolutely – we consider her blood kin now.”  Even as I write that my throat tightens and tears come to my eyes.  You see, the promise God makes in Psalm 68 is a reality in my life...He sets the solitary into families. Since becoming a Christ follower in 1992, I have the joy of being welcomed into many families as if I were their blood kin.  The first family was the Jones’ which then extended to their daughters’ families, the Jenkins’ and the Strickland’s.  The next family that really embraced me, and it happened at almost the same time, are the Riley’s and their daughters’ families, the Warbington’s, Deagle’s and Kirkland’s.  What fun memories come flashing through my mind as I think of the weddings of four of these five daughters!!  I was honored to serve the families at these events.

After moving to Houston, I really began to realize how true it was that I was a part of their family.  Many children have been born into these families since my move, I think six out of seventeen, but they all call me Aunt Beck.  While in Houston, God brought even more families to welcome me into their fold, the Smyth’s from Brandon, Manitoba, the Heath’s from Edisto Beach, SC and the Hulzebos’ from Lakeland, FL!

All of these families are my families.  I would not hesitate, regardless of the hour or the issue, to call any one of them and say I need your help.  I know that they would be there for me.  I could show up at their doorsteps unannounced and they would welcome me in and ask, “Can you stay a long time?”  They have prayed for me, counseled me, rebuked me, supported me and loved me.

During my time in the Middle East, I had much time to reflect on my life.  (Reading Who Are You and What Do you Want? has really helped in facilitating this reflection.)  While there, I missed several “now or never” moments with these families and I don’t want to do that again.  Also, living alone in a culture that is so familial and relational has only increased my resolve to do all I can to develop even deeper relationships with these folks as well as with my biological family.  Having the freedom to live in the Tampa Bay area is such a gift as I am able to spend quantity as well as quality time with my mom, dad, stepmom and brother.

Are you solitary?  Trust God and begin asking Him to settle you in with families.  And don’t be afraid to do life with them.  Are you a family?  Reach out to those who are solitary.  Extend invitations to welcome them into your home for dinner, for ballgame watching or just hanging out.  Be the tool God uses to settle the lonely into families.

To see my "family" as well as some friends, check out this photo album.

The Bible is Just Another Book – Part 2

(See last week's blog for Part 1) Oh, I had very little faith that it could really make a difference - I had no life changing experience or revelation that called me to pick it up.  I was just so desperate that I was willing to try anything.  My years of church attendance had taught me that living the Christian life is not complicated - an aerospace degree was not necessary to figure this out.  Three simple actions that needed to be taken on a regular basis:  #1 pray, #2 read the Bible and #3 fellowship with other believers.  That was it.  Doing these three things with your whole heart for an extended period of time is the definition of a Christian walk.  But really, could something so simple take the mess of my life and turn it into anything good?  Since I had nothing else to lose I might as well try it and being an all or nothing kind of girl I went all out.

It is interesting now to look back at those early years - 1992, 1993 - and read my journal entries.  Every time - and I mean 100% of the time - God revealed something to me in His Word.  It was not necessarily some profound theological concept but it was a slow realization that this book - this Bible - was something special.  Here is an entry from November 24, 1992:

II Peter 2:  v. 9 The Lord can and does do what is right and what He wants to do.  He has the power to do all things.  v. 19 No matter what, all people are slaves to that which masters them - it could be God, money, sex, people, satan, etc. but they are all slaves.

Or February 13, 1993:  Luke 10:  v. 37 Jesus Christ had mercy on him - not giving others what they deserve - the homeless person may have brought his troubles on himself but we cannot throw him in the "ditch."  We must give mercy unto him.  v. 18-19 Jesus saw satan fall from heaven like a lightening bolt; He has been with the Father since the very beginning.  Thank you, Jesus!

Despite the fact that I had been to church hundreds of times and was even on the cradle roll at First Baptist Church, St. Petersburg, Florida, I was clueless to actually were the books of the Bible were located.  I was so thankful for the Table of Contents in my Bible and used it without shame and regularly.  Since I am a bit challenged, phonetically, the first few times I had to turn to Psalms was a bit of a struggle because I kept looking for the book of Salms.  What a relief when I looked on the person Bible next to me and I realized the "p" was silent!

It was at a Metro Bible study that I learned a truth that today still rocks my world.  II Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness."  What this verse is saying is that the Bible is able to answer these four questions:

What is right? (useful for teaching)

What is wrong?  (useful for rebuking)

How to get right?  (useful for correcting)

How to stay right?  (useful for training in righteousness)

If we add in verse 17, "So that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work," the Bible even shows me what I am equipped to do - every good work!!

I don’t know where you are – is your life a wreck or are you just coasting along nicely.  Either way, the Bible is a book that is able to guide you in all areas of your life.  Will you just take a risk and try it out for yourself?

Or maybe the Bible is a big part of your daily life, would you please share with me some of the cool things you have learned or experienced as a result of being in the Word?

The Bible is Just Another Book – Part 1

Sitting on an antique piece of furniture in my living room is a baby sized, white, leather bound New Testament Bible.  On the inside flap it reads, it says "Presented to Becky Turner January 29, 1965 by First Baptist Church of St. Petersburg."  Even as I write this tears come to my eyes as I ponder the fact that what has become a treasure in my life was available to me from the moment I took my first breath of air (January 29, 1965 is my birthday) and for 27 years I never sought it out.  What is so unique about me still having this little Bible is that I am not the least bit sentimental and I tend to purge more than I hoard.  However, I have always had a healthy respect for the Bible but to think that it held everything I needed for life and godliness?  Give me a break. You see I grew up in church.  For many years, when the doors were open we were there – Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and every night of the annual spring revival.  Dad served a term as chairman of the deacons.  My parents taught a Sunday school class.  The church used our swimming pool as the baptism until one was built at the church.  We participated in marathon gospel hymn sings and I even broke my arm one Wednesday night while doing a cartwheel in the church's courtyard.  But going to church and doing all the activities does not translate into a transformed life if the Bible is not a part of one's day-to-day life.  The Bible had been a small part of my life but I never cognitively came to the understanding that the Bible - God's thoughts, written by man, inspired by the Holy Spirit, condensed into 66 books - could have such a huge impact on my life.

Well, at least no personal impact on my day-to-day living.  The Bible does impact us at a corporate level because so many of the laws of the United States were founded on the commands of the Bible.  Who doesn't want to live in a society were stealing, killing and even lying are not punished by the governing authorities?  But to think that this book that was written 1,000s of years ago, could help me live my life today was a foreign concept.

For me to study the Word, memorize the Word, apply the Word, to believe the Word, to take the Word as being the final authority on life in my own personal life, no way.  It is just another book, right?  Like Aesop's Fables or the Koran or the Old Farmer's Almanac - a book with stories, guidelines for living and some sage wisdom.

I remember many Sunday mornings searching for my Bible before church and then remembering that it was right where I left it last Sunday - the back seat of my car.  And there it was - a little sun bleached and full of the previous weeks bulletins because I never picked it from one Sunday to another.  It just sat there...waiting...not being used...available but ignored as I went about making decisions based on man's wisdom and my own experiences.  Until this decision making lead to a wreck of my life and finally, as I came to the end of myself, I reached out to it.

See next week’s blog for the rest of the story.

How Bad is It, Really?

There are some areas of my life were I am definitely a snob. Technology – I always want the latest and greatest phone, computer, apps, etc.

Seating – I will chose to leave an event if I do no have a great seat.  Some of that is because I am so easily distracted but a lot of it is because I am a snob.

Ink Pens – If it does not flow smoothly, it is in the trash.  Won’t find any hotel pens in my purse.

However, I did not think that I was a coffee snob.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am definitely a coffee lover (read addiction here) and I will bellying up the Starbuck’s bar with the best of them but I will also drink McDonalds, Waffle House or Bob Evans coffee without any problem.  So when I was making plans to come to the Middle East and knew that coffee pots were rare, I thought, “I can do Nescafe for six weeks. How bad can it be?”  Well, it was pretty bad...but I run ahead of myself.

The first sign that maybe this was not going to work was the fact that I had to put so much real sugar and real cream into it to be able to drink.  The next sign was the time about three days into my first week that I thought, “I think I will have a cup of coffee” and then I thought, “On second thought, I don’t think I want one.”  Me not wanting a cup of coffee? This was getting desperate!

I shared my concerns with my fellow Americans – who also happen to be coffee lovers and lived in the home with THE coffee pot and a solution was found.  I would have a pour over every day (actually several of them)!  “What exactly is a pour over?” I hear you asking.  It is basically my own automatic drip coffee maker that is not automatic.

Mark grinded me up some coffee beans.  (Of course, they not only had THE coffee pot but only whole beans – no, I wasn’t bitter – I had the swimming pool at my house.)  Found a filter that would work and voila  my own personal coffee maker. 

The next morning when I made that first cup I thought this is not going to work at all but when that hot, aromatic coffee touched my taste buds for the first time not only did it make me want to slap my mama but also made my tongue slap my brain!!

Now, despite the fact that it takes about 5 minutes to make each cup of coffee, I never hesitate when my brain says, “How about a cup of coffee?”

I guess the point of this whole story is how stinking spoiled I am!  I was whining about coffee while living in a city where the slums are like a scene from a Mad Max movie and the compound in which I live has a humvee at the entrance and the guards I speak to each morning are holding M-16 rifles.  Get some perspective here, Becky!

What about you?  Are you whining about something when it really might not be that bad?  Do you need a perspective adjustment like I did?

Are You Settling?

It was early evening and the restaurant was not too crowded when a family of four came into the restaurant.  You could see the dynamics before they even spoke a word.  Dad's Windsor knot was open to about the third button on his shirt.  Mom was still in her workout clothes from her morning aerobics class.  The teenage boy was riveted to his handheld video game and his little sister just wanted someone to talk with her.

Once seated it was not long before the waitress had brought their drinks and were awaiting their orders.  Dad, mom and son were Johnny on the spot but the daughter was really struggling.

"Just pick something, Amy."

"But, mom, there is nothing I really want very much and I am not that hungry."

"You have to get something.  It doesn't matter.  Just decide."

"Ok, I guess I will take the chicken fingers."

We have all been there, seen this and have played the role of Amy and mom in this story.  Just pick something.  Anything will do.  It is really not that important.  Average or just above will work.  It is good enough.  Settle on something.  And in many ways what Amy chose for dinner would not propel her down the path of destruction or happiness but there are many times in our lives that the choice will greatly affect us.

Or how about when others settle for us?  "This is what you are going to get - be satisfied with it."  Now don't get me wrong...there is a level of truth in that statement and we can't complain and be disgruntled about everything that comes into our lives.  But, when fine is good enough all the time or when we are afraid to wait out for the best - for the promise land of God - and chose to settle for the ordinary, our lives will be impacted.

When I think about settling, I can't help but think about a house settling.  As a home is being built, the foundation is poured, the framing is done, the roof is laid and the walls are established.  In five or maybe ten years, the home settles into the ground and the cracks in the walls begin to appear.  The foundation of the home is hard as a rock but the ground under the foundation is sifting sand.

When we settle and are content with mediocrity, day in and day out, we limit God's blessings in our lives.

Is there an area in your life that you have already settled?  “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten...”  Joel 2:25

Are there areas in your life were you are tempted to settle?  To not wait on the best?  “The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him!”  Lamentations 3:25

In your work, do you have an attitude of settling?  “B- work is good enough.”   “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Living in the Moment

The air is warm as the city electricity was just cut off and the generator has not kicked in yet.  In some ways, this is my favorite time of the day because there is no humming. You know – the humming that comes from all the electrical equipment running.  The hum of the AC.  The buzzing of the refrigerator.  The whirling of the computer hard drive.  The running of the pool pump.  They have all been silenced with the flip of a switch.  It is amazing to realize such peace in the middle of a war zone. Eventually the silence is broken as overhead a helicopter flies by as another dignitary is being taxied into the safe area.  (It is cheaper to hire a helicopter than a personal security detail.) The haunting sounds of the noon call for prayer are beginning to wander into my room.  The guard has gone and switched on the generator and all is humming again.

However, the wonderful thing is that the Peace remains as I continue to be still before Him.  I am so grateful for the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in my life as it was not too many years (maybe even months) back that I would have panicked, literally, with the thought of having to spend so much time alone.  So much time not being entertained by the television or not hanging out with friends or not having a long list of to-dos done or not being able to go to a gym and work out.

You see, I am writing this while in the Middle East teaching English at a language institute.  Because of some peaceful religious activities, there were extensive road closures and the institute shut down for three days.  My cancelled classes and the subsequent three days of NOTHING on the calendar became a blessing rather than a curse.  I do think that He is teaching me to enjoy the moment.  To live in the present.  And I am thoroughly enjoying it!

Who would have thought it would have required a trip to a foreign land to bring about this change?  But some lessons are only learned on field trips.

How about you?  How are you doing being “present?”  How are you doing enjoying the moment?

The Barnabas Group

I Peter 4:10 says, “As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”  According to the dictionary on my MacBook, steward means a person employed to manage another's property, especially a large house or estate.  And even the original Greek word used in the Bible, oikonomos, has the same connotation of one who manages someone else’s estate or affairs. A friend of mine is a wealth manager – he manages or stewards his clients’ monies and does it based on their preferences.  If my friend were to say to one of his clients, “I know you wanted to invest that money in Coca-Cola but I decided to spend it on my son’s college tuition.  I hope you don’t mind – you have plenty," he would be fired and I am sure that some ethics committee somewhere would be calling.

The management of one’s estate goes beyond just finances but includes hiring and firing staff, building and remodeling facilities, land usage, etc.  This is true for believers as well.  Often we think of just our tithe or financial gifts when discussing stewardship.  But it goes so much further than that to include our time, talent as well as touch (or sphere of influence.)  As believers, we have an obligation to the Owner of the estate to manage His affairs well.

The Barnabas Group, where I am blessed to be the managing partner, is all about helping people be good stewards of the estate that they have been given.  Our mission is to leverage the time, talent, touch and treasure of marketplace and other Kingdom leaders to help ministries transform lives worldwide.  We are all about connecting leaders and changing lives.

We have an abundance mentality and desire to see the release of generosity in our communities with the utilization of everyone’s unique gift of time, talent, touch and treasure to God’s service.  We do this through quarterly breakfasts in which three to four pre-vetted ministries are able to present their organization as well as their needs to our membership.  When their mission connects with someone’s passion, then we have been successful.

How are you doing on your stewardship?  Does The Barnabas Group sound like something you would be interested in being a part of?  I would love to have you at our next breakfast.

Snap! Snap! Snap! (Part 2)

Last week, I shared the beginning of how the Lord has lead me to a deeper commitment to the Life movement.  Here is the rest of the story.  (I am going to just jump right in so you may need to go back to the previous post for context.) Well, at that Saturday lunch meeting, I was just a consultant who came in to help facilitate the meeting and had no idea what the Lord was going to do in my heart over the next 24 hours.  By the end of the night I was committed to being a part of rectifying this problem.  Of being a part of bringing back the culture of Life to Houston!  And being a part of closing down as many abortion providers as possible.  I committed to being a part of the rectification of this discrepancy!

Even as I type this, tears are streaming down my face – why?  Three reasons:  #1 Passion for Life.  Next to evangelism, I believe God’s second heartbeat is the Life issue and it is mine as well.  I have been in this battle since 1999 and I thought when I left LifeHouse in April of 2010 I had been honorably discharged from that army.  But when something burns deep in your soul, you can never leave it behind.  I am passionate about seeing the sanctity of Life restored and was more than happy to re-enlist when Cynthia Wenz, CEO of The Source, asked me to join them.

Secondly, with my life before the non-profit world being totally in the business world, the concept of comparing ourselves to our competitors made complete sense to me.  To end abortion in Houston, I don’t have to change the laws (even though that is wonderful and praise God for the Texas Legislature and the passing and signing of the Sonogram bill.)  As Dr. Wilkinson said Wal-Mart didn’t close down K-Mart by picketing out front...they closed down K-Mart by providing greater value for the customer.  When K-Mart lost so many customers, they had to shut their doors.  The abortion providers will go out of business if we take their customers away!

Lastly, I am pretty literal when it comes to the Bible and I do believe that 2 Corinthians 5:10 is true! For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. One day I will stand before the Lord and He will ask me what I did about the destruction of thousands of innocent lives in my own backyard.  I am taking responsibility for my part and not just giving it a passing glance and say I already served in that area.  I am not just writing a check that’s, percentage-wise, less than what I tip waitresses.  I am not going to stand by and just let this go on during my watch.

Cynthia has put together an amazing 4-part strategy to fulfill what was committed that night – to save 1,001 babies before May 31^st, 2012.  That is a four-fold increase over last year but is still a drop in the bucket compared to our competition.  But with these sustained strategies, I believe with everything in me that in the following year the number of babies saved will be 2,002...Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Baby Saved!

Then 4,004...Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Baby Saved!

Then 8,016...Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Baby Saved!

Then 16,032 in 2016...Snap!  Baby Saved!  Snap!  Baby Saved!  Snap! Baby Saved!

Five years!   Y2K was over a decade ago – five years will fly by.  During those years, we at The Source alongside of countless other pro-life battlers will be ending abortion in Houston!!  What will you be doing?

Snap! Snap! Snap!

In my last post I mentioned that my first contract when starting KBT Consulting was with The Source for Women.  That contract as well as the words spoken to me by The Source’s CEO, Cynthia Wenz, encouraged me to “go for it” and believe the impossible.  Since the completion of that contract, there have been other contracts but it was a “volunteer” engagement as a panelist at their spring banquet that has lead me back into a deeper commitment one of my two passions – the Life movement. Let me tell you about that night...

Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Baby Saved!

The sound of Dr. Bruce Wilkinson’s, keynote speaker at the 2011 The Source for Women banquet, finger snapping still resonates in my ear.  Praise the Lord for the 240 babies that were saved through the ministry of The Source in 2010.  Praise Him for the estimated 2,400 little ones and their mothers who were snatched from the edge of a life changing choice by the work of the 20+ pregnancy centers in the Greater Houston area.  Each life is a vast potential of unknown impact.  We are grateful!

However, as Dr. Wilkinson clearly pointed it out...we are failing miserably compared to our competition – abortion providers.  Yes, we did better than last year and yes, are “numbers” look great compared to other centers and even compared to other non-profits.  However, when we compare our selves with our competitors – we come up sorely short, even woefully.  Based on the latest annual statistics, there were at least 24,000 abortions!  That means for every baby saved, nine!! were lost to the “competition.”

Every 22 minutes a baby is lost to abortion in the Greater Houston area.  Every 3 hours and 40 minutes a baby is saved by a pregnancy center!

Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Abortion.  Snap!  Baby Saved!  Snap!

Dr. Wilkinson shared a visit he once made to the Saturday morning leadership team meeting at Wal-Mart.  On the screen, broken down by departments, were the weekly sales numbers of Wal-Mart as well as their leading competitors (K-Mart, Sears, etc.)  Every department leader who’s sales were less than the competitors had to stand, give an explanation and provide the solution as to how he was going to rectify the difference that next week.  Responsibility and accountability played out.

Before Dr. Wilkerson stood before the amazing supporters of The Source for Women the Saturday night before Easter, he stood before the board and the leadership team of The Source and said, “Here are the numbers.  How are you going to rectify this in the coming year?”  He challenged them to responsibility and accountability.

You may wonder, “Why ‘them’ and not ‘us’?  As the Director of Development, Becky, aren’t you part of the leadership team?”... (to be continued next week)

Where in the World is Becky Today?

It is hard to believe that it has been almost 16 months since I resigned from LifeHouse (read about it here and here) and started out on this new adventure!! As my dear friend, Andrea, says, “Days drag but years fly.” I know this to be true. As you know, upon leaving LifeHouse, I did not have another job and felt strongly that I was to start my own business. A few people looked at me with just a bit of skepticism (or was it pity) that I was starting a business in this current state of the economy. However, I was surrounded by many who cheered me on to do it. My first contract was with The Source for Women and it was the encouragement I needed to believe that KBT Consulting might actually be a viable business.

Just FYI, there was a BIG safety net under me and it was not some “sugar daddy” or a huge inheritance left behind for me. The safety net was that years ago the Lord had called me to live a frugal and debt free life. Because of that, when He asked me to walk away from a regular paycheck there was little fear because my cost of living was so low.

In America today, slavery is still a real issue. Millions of Americans are enslaved to their credit card company (or companies) and the ball and chain around their ankles is consumer debt. “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.” Proverbs 22:7 (NKJV) Nine out of ten Americans claim that credit card debt has never been a source of worry but 47% would refuse to tell a friend how much they owe.

Please listen, my friends, there is NOTHING that I denied myself the years it took to get debt free that compares to the FREEDOM (read this with the emphasis of William Wallace at the end of Braveheart) I experience today. Please, if you are enslaved to consumer debt, do whatever it takes to become debt free.

I have learned a lot about myself during these past 16 months – I enjoy my quiet time but working out of my home and not going into an office can affect my emotions. Also, when working out of my home, establishing boundaries is so important. All work and no play was not good for me at all.

The Lord has been SO blessed me and has provided all that I have needed. By the middle of last summer, I had enough clients that my revenue covered all of my living expenses. This past April, God really showed off and now the revenue into KBT Consulting exceeds my salary at LifeHouse! I do give Him all the credit because every one of my clients came to me. I did not approach them and the few times I did try and “drum up” some business I never landed the contract!!

As I type this I am actually in the Middle East for six weeks teaching English. This is my second trip here this year. I have also been to Honduras for a week and have spent lots of time in Atlanta as well as Lakeland, Florida with friends and family. All of this could not have happened if I still was working a 9-5 job.

So yes, days drag and years fly and another 16 pages of the calendar will roll off before we know it. Who knows where in the world I will be in August 2012!!  And who knows where in the world you will be then.   But I do know this – the decisions I made 16 months ago have significantly impacted where I am today. May we all make wise decisions as we travel around the sun another 427 times!

Love Me Some Kenmore!

Earlier this year, I had the amazing privilege of traveling to the Middle East!! My time there was really wonderful.  I taught.  I learned.  I experienced.  I encouraged and I was encouraged.  And I ate!!  The scale was not my friend when I got home. The greatest difficulty was being on opposite schedules than the States.  My day was  just ending when life on the East Coast was just beginning.  As my friends and family were crawling into bed for the night, I was finishing up my second or third cup  of coffee and was off to the races.

However, not once did I feel afraid.  Not once was I concerned about my safety.  As I settled into a routine, life was becoming normal, almost. Now don’t get me wrong, this wasn't Kansas if you know what I mean.

For example, the last full day I was in country, I washed a load of clothes and it made me so appreciate my "automatic" washing machine at home!  Here is what it took for me to wash a load of clothes.

• Wait for the municipal electricity to come back on.  (We were blessed in our neighborhood to be on a 3 hours on/3 hours off rolling blackout.  Many parts of the city only have electricity for an hour or so a day.  Most communities had a shared generator that residents subscribe to use.  Forget about swim and tennis communities, how many amps does your generator produce?)
• Remove cover and place hose in drain (see photo.)
• Turn hot and cold water on to the desired temperature and begin filling tub.
• Turn Cycle dial from Drain to Wash/Rinse. (Forgot to do this and stood there wondering why the tub was not filling.)
• Turn Wash/Rinse dial to 15 minutes.
• Turn power on at both switch and outlet. (Also, forgot this and stood there wondering why the tub was not agitating.)
• Go and fix breakfast but be sure to turn the water off so that the tub does not overflow. (Did do this but remember there is a drain hole in the room so even if I didn’t "no problem!")
• After 15 minutes, turn Cycle dial from Wash/Rinse to Drain to drain tub.
• When finished draining, turn Cycle dial back to Wash/Rinse.
• Turn hot and cold water on to the desired temperature and begin filling tub for the rinse cycle.
• Turn Wash/Rinse dial to 15 minutes.
• When completed, turn Cycle dial back to Drain to empty the tub.
• Wring out each item and place in second tub for the “Turbo Air Dry” cycle.
• Turn the Spin Dial to 5 minutes.
• While the clothes are spinning, clean out the lint filter in the agitation tub and wipe down the inside.
• Remove hose and return cover to keep the rats out. (Ok, that gave me chills just thinking about it!!)
• Remove clothes and move them on to the drying center (see photo.)
• Go find the yellow pages and look up Laundry Services!

I almost hugged my washing machine when I arrived back in Texas!  Have you ever returned home from a trip overseas and wanted to hug an appliance?

Forgiveness...Why So Hard

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4.32

Forgiveness is the willingness to relinquish the pursuit of justice in response to who’s wrong you.  A willingness to free them of the debt that they owe you.  Our motivation to do this is because God forgave us.  Because of the shed blood of Jesus, God’s justice was satisfied and He has forgiven us of the debt that we owed to Him.

Even with this great motivation, forgiveness is still one of the most challenging character traits to walk out.  What makes it so difficult is our inability to forget the offense.  I wish that when I forgave someone the memory of that offense could be wiped from my mind but that is just not the case.  When this happens, I often want to seek justice for things that have already been forgiven and shed the blood of war in peacetime as David said to Solomon in I Kings 2:5.

David’s army commander, Joab, lost a brother in war at the hands of the enemy.  After the war was over and the peace treaty was signed, Joab went and killed the man who had killed his brother.  He sought justice for a wartime offense after peace had been established.

Unfortunately, I can do the exact same thing.  Now, it might not be that I go and murder someone but often times I have extended forgiveness to someone, they have responded appropriately and we are fully reconciled.  Then, one day, week, decade later the memory comes back and I seek justice, again.  I want another, “I’m sorry.”  I am seeking forgiveness in peacetime for something that was already covered.

When the memory comes back, instead of going to the forgiven offender, I need to go to God and ask for Him to heal me in that area and to walk out the forgiveness that was freely given to me.