Love or Fear…Can You Have Both?

My two favorite topics in school have always been history and math. While in college, I actually took a junior level history class as an elective…basically just for fun. It was on 20th century American history and I think I still have the text book I enjoyed it so much. But I also love a good math problem and one of my regrets from college is that I did not take statistics. I think there’s a little bit of “geekiness” in me.

Regardless of what your favorite subject is I’d like you to go back to algebra for just a bit and look at the one of the algebraic laws: if a equals b then b equals a. A math example would be (1x4) = (2x2). I want to carry that same logic over to a portion of the passage in I John 4:18, “Perfect love casts out fear.” My theory (and it is definitely a theory so please just write this in pencil and not permeant ink) is that if love casts out fear then fear casts out love. Where fear is, love (except the love of self) cannot reside.

Now, this is not something that is going to go in a text book and cause high schoolers to cram all night for an exam but it sure does make me think through what is happening when I am afraid. But before diving into that, let’s take a moment and define fear. First, fear is a biological response to an internal or external stimulus. When we’re afraid, our bodies will go into “fight or flight” mode. Your heart rate goes up and your adrenaline increases. This response arise from within or without. Thinking about losing your job (internal stimulus) causes fear. Coming face-to-face with a grizzly bear (external stimulus) also causes fear.

If you are anything like me, most fears are internally created. We are afraid because of what we think will happen rather than what is actually happening. What we feel is real but the circumstances we’re imagining are not. And when we are in that mode, we become extremely self focused and myopic – protect myself at all costs. When this is the case, the ability to love others becomes almost impossible because true love involves thinking of someone else over one’s own needs or wants.

In some ways, fear is both a natural and helpful part of what it means to be human. But if fear gets out of control, it can take over and prevent us from enjoying life. When we’re consumed by fear, we can’t be present for others or do the things we love. Overwhelming fear affects our health, saps our strength, makes it difficult to concentrate, and robs us of sleep.

It also keeps us from taking any risks. If we’re afraid, we won’t start new businesses, write books, or initiate relationships. We’ll constantly play it safe, always trying to insulate ourselves from any negative consequences. When we play it safe, we don’t grow. We stagnate. We miss out on great opportunities.

This is true any time but no more true right now in the midst of this Covid-19 pandemic. As you make decisions for yourself and your family, please check your fear factor. Are you doing or not doing something because you are afraid? Are you not living life fully because the fear of contracting this novel corona virus is stopping you? 

If you are one who battles with fear (or anxiety or worry), you may want to join me for a 15 minute webinar this Friday the 22nd at 11 am Eastern time. You can register for that event here. If that time is not good for you, why don’t you go ahead and register and I will send you the webinar recording Friday afternoon? Again, here is the registration link.